Sammy Field
Health, Wellness, and Wisdom
Winter Trache Break
It’s amazing to look back on a trip or experience and realize that you almost talked yourself out of going. This Christmas break, I signed up for a Jan Term abroad that I almost didn’t go on. Of course, inevitably (thanks, G*d), these trips always seem to find me at the right time—saving me from madness and filling my heart once more. After an emotional rollercoaster of a semester, with highs and lows in my personal life, college campuses—especially small southern ones—have this beautiful, bubble-like quality. Most of the time, that means I am relatively safe, the campus is lush and full of red brick, and the degree of separation from each student body seems to be three at most. But other times… it’s a bubble with this lovely impending doom that’s always looming, disguised in roller rabbit pajamas, hair extensions, and an iced coffee.
With ending the semester, I got a stomach bug right before my last final; thank goodness for TUMS and gluten-free bread, lmao. Like the cherry on top of semester stress. I managed to finish out my semester and my online ASU class strong, and then immediately fled the state of Texas to return to Arizona. It felt good going to the airport, good reading my book on the plane, good grabbing my bags from baggage claim. When my mom pulled up and helped me with my bag, I got in the car, hugged her, and boom—tears. I don’t even know why. Tears. I couldn’t stop. Finally, we grabbed an iced coffee at LGO, my favorite place (any Arizonian knows it’s an extension of the Field family at this point). And I just felt so emotionally exhausted, sad, happy, and overwhelmingly grateful. Tears again—grateful tears, I guess? In public. Shameless. Instead of post-*** clarity, I got like post semester of school clarity; and i could feel that shit to my core.
After a week and a half of rest, relaxation, family time, and getting to see my best friends from home, I packed up for my three-week Jan Term abroad, not really knowing anyone and still unclear about what I’d even signed up for—besides the fact that it satisfies my literary analysis credit. Whatever that means. I booked my flight for a day early so I would have time to settle in and a day to acclimate to the time zone set aside for myself. We started in Aix-en-Provence, then went to Paris, Amsterdam, Prague, and Rome. So, there are a lot of stories (...hello Amsterdam), but for the sake of this one, I want to focus on the central idea that the world is far bigger than our bubble, and how history can change in a single generation. These aren’t groundbreaking concepts: #1 Going to nice private colleges, this can easily be forgotten. #2 As a history minor, I’ve come to truly appreciate the beauty of the human spirit and how power can be used to manipulate and change the trajectory of entire communities’ lives. This trip was like my craving for a tracheostomy during a panic attack. Exactly what I needed to embark on Spring 2025.
On our final leg of the trip—Rome—we had the longest amount of time, so naturally, with my love for cooking, I made Anna, my roommate (and now one of my favorite people and comedians), sign up for this Airbnb pasta-making class in Rome I found. In hindsight, maybe it was only for couples, because it ended up being just us, Geriamo the chef, and a couple from Warsaw, Poland. Now, I’ve never been to Poland, and quite frankly, wasn’t planning a trip anytime soon. But damn, at this rate, I might need to shoot over there for a husband because the man wouldn’t let us pour any water or wine ourselves, and he was so proper and nice. We didn’t know what to do with ourselves. The woman had kind eyes and seemed a bit more reserved. After some uncomfortable silence and small talk, we came to laugh and learn that they had two beautiful, blonde angel-children, and they loved their country, travel, their jobs, and what a Polish wedding was like. After my intrusive questions about Polish politics and the Great Depression (I blame my mom for this political inquiring trait—it’s in my blood, not my brain), he started telling us how his mother couldn’t afford soap in the 60’s. And now, here he was, born in 1992, an engineer; his wife, born in 1994, was a manager for an international meat company. They had a beautiful family and were enjoying a three-day weekend in Rome… just for the hell of it. We made pasta together, drank wine, and talked for the full two hour class. It was just amazing to think about—his mother couldn’t afford soap, and now he’s on holiday with his wife in Rome at an Airbnb pasta class on a casual weekend. In the same generation! His mom is watching their kids. We’ll never see them again, but it just impacted me of this tangible reminder that human beings are both the destroyers and builders of the environments we want our future offspring to live in.
Now prior to this, in Amsterdam, we got to learn, discuss, and visit the Anne Frank House, the secret annex. Tucked in an unassuming, nice neighborhood that blended right into the rest of the city seamlessly, on the outside looking in, you could not imagine the horrors that took place in these neighborhoods, this state, this continent, inside that annex a mere 80-ish years prior. In less than 100 years, I went from visiting the Anne Frank Museum, where she hid from the Nazis for two years before being dragged to Auschwitz with her sister, to ordering a coconut milk cappuccino to-go while browsing thrift stores two blocks away. It’s been exactly 80 years since Anne was discovered in 1944. That is absolutely insane. I’m not from Amsterdam. My parents aren’t from Amsterdam. But being able to frolic and enjoy the very same country where, had things gone differently, I could have been starved or executed within the same century—it gives me chills. Things can go so horrifically wrong, then so wonderfully right, in such a short amount of time in the scheme of infinity. In the history of a country. In the history of a people. This doesn’t just apply to Jews; it applies to any marginalized or minority group (this is just my frame of reference).
These are just the two examples and experiences that really stood out to me on this trip and in this class. Not to get all patriotic on everyone but one of my favorite quotes of all time is, “Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same. Mad props to Ronald Reagan’s Inaugural Address in 1967. Reagan was talking about the American spirit etc. here, but I think this is a universally applicable quote that we, as Americans, just have the privilege to celebrate and disseminate throughout our culture. Never let anyone belittle what you believe in—your political ideology, your religion, or try to erase your culture and ancestral background—because that is always how things like the Holocaust start: the slow erasing of culture and the celebration of differences. We are in charge of our history, and I feel so overwhelmingly blessed to be able to experience history through a lens of reflection and gratitude, not imminent danger. In a full circle way, having a break from school to travel around is always such an amazing reminder that nothing is as dire as it feels in our beautiful little bubble. There is the entire world filled with so much culture and hardship and beauty that feel so out of reach to our senses once school begins again, at least for me. It takes serious work to not allow yourself to fall into the bubble and be overwhelmed by your immediate environment, something I am always trying to consciously do and to be empowered by the power to change what you believe in because it has real effects on everyone around you. Speak up and be proud even if your shamed or made to feel invalidated.
Seasons, Earthlings, Etc.
With the winter months of November and December here and fast approaching, the leaves changing, the weather getting colder, and the days getting shorter, certain familiar feelings can start creeping back in. You want to go out… but bed feels more comfortable. It is easier and easier to “have too much work” or have a project due than to reach out to that friend you have been meaning to see. Guess what? Everybody is fucking stressed. Mindset and waking up every day with the brain set that every day is a gift, an opportunity to connect with people, to grow, and to challenge yourself. The only person that can make you is you. Write your goals down—real goals that are both short-term and long-term. I have a running list of people I need to text back, call that doctor's office back, do that assignment, and reach out to that friend! Check it off the list and be proud of yourself for the little things.
Set long-term goals, remind yourself why, and surround yourself with people who hold you accountable—non-bullshitters who will keep you in check. Relationships take up too much of your valuable time to be involved with people who do not fill your cup. Now I am 20, and can truly say with my full chest, it is okay to cut the fat.
Going back to God, he made us in His image to connect. My new minor in college is religious studies, so I have academically devoted extra time to studying the Torah. In my favorite translation of Genesis 1:27, “And God created the earthling in God’s image, in the image of God, God created it.” The distractions and luxuries of the modern age aside, at our core, we are earthlings. This idea is so incredibly grounding to me, and I invite you to remind yourself of this, implement this into your daily routine. Every day is truly a gift, another challenge to try and be the best version of yourself. That sounds like it should be in your dentists office pasted over an image of a kitten on a rainbow. But it is the truth. Some days are complete shit; it’s hard. But there is a reason for that—goodness and God will always win in the end, the very end. So even if you don't want to, its cold outside and your feeling internally down and exhausted, you don't feel grateful to do another day. Before you get out of bed, religious or not, whether you mean it or not, practice saying out loud: “thank you God (insert: higher power, Justin Bieber, Marcello Hernandez… whatever symbolic thing you get hyped about) for another day to be able to connect to people. I am up for this challenge, to navigate the bullshit, the frustrations. Take note of the small enjoyments and celebrate the little wins.”
Now this is obviously not some revelation that I created; this is just what has helped me take the over-analysis of other people’s actions and self-criticism down a notch (that and my Sunday Goods gummies, lol). We are all just earthlings trying to do our best, so if you struggle with the winter months, we are all in it together :)
This is obviously not a be-all solution to seasonal depression, but I hope this helps anyone who deals with anything even remotely close <3. Simplify your brain and approach your little, medium, and big goals with gratitude, hard work, and peace. Whether that’s finally doing your laundry or tackling that huge project you have due next week. With constant reminders, it will eventually be implemented into your daily actions—it’s going to be MORE than okay. Earthlings af. Amen.
3 Healthy Dessert Recipes that Satisfy My Sweet Tooth!
Healthy Banana Coffee Shake:
Ingredients:
2 large Frozen bananas
3/4ths cup Coconut milk
1-2 pitted Medjool dates
2 shots of espresso (decaf if night time treat)
1 scoop of Collagen powder
Cinnamon power
Touch of sea salt
Vanilla extract
Directions:
Combine ingredients in blender then enjoy, blend on low so it stays thick!
Nut Butter Dates:
Ingredients:
Dates
Nut butter of choice
Coarse sea salt
Dark vegan chocolate (HU salty or vanilla quinoa dark chocolate is my favorite)
Directions:
De pit your dates by open them up and delicately removing the stone.
Place a heaped teaspoon of nut butter inside each date.
Sprinkle each date with a pinch of chopped dark chocolate and a small pinch of sea salt.
Put your dates on a plate to harden in the freezer for 10-15 minutes before enjoying.
Dairy and Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies:
2 ¼ cups gluten free flour (almond flour)
½ tablespoon coarse sea salt
2 teaspoons cornstarch
1 teaspoon baking soda
¾ cup kerry gold butter
1 cup brown sugar firmoly packed
⅓ monk fruit sweetener
1 large egg + 1 large egg yolk
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
1 ½ cups dairy free dark chocolate chip
Directions:
Combine the gluten-free flour, coarse sea salt, cornstarch, baking soda, and xanthan gum (if using) in a medium bowl to set aside.
Xanthan gum is for thickening mix; 2 teaspoons of xanthan gum for this recipe
In a large mixing bowl combine the softened butter, brown sugar, and granulated sugar and mix together until smooth.
Add in the egg, egg yolk, and vanilla extract and mix again until fully combined and smooth.
Pour the dry ingredients from step 1 in and mix them together.
Add in the chocolate chips and hand mix until combined.
Cover the cookie dough with plastic wrap and allow to chill in the fridge for at least 2-3 hours or freezer for 1-2 hours.
Preheat the oven to 350ºF and prepare two large cookie sheets with parchment paper.
Using a large (3 tablespoon) cookie scoop, scoop the chilled cookie dough onto the cookie sheets approximately 3 inches apart and make sure to leave each cookie dough ball round. Do not press down or flatten.
Bake for approximately 12-13 minutes or until the edges are a light golden brown and the centers appear to be slightly underbaked. Allow the cookies to cool for 10 minutes on the cookie sheets and then remove them to a cooling rack to finish cooling. Enjoy!
Store cookies in an airtight container at room temperature for up to a week or frozen for up to 6 months.
10 Must-Haves I Swear By
Here’s a list of my daily essentials—from budget-friendly accessories and matcha to my favorite electrolytes. It’s everything I love for beauty, style, and wellness!
My favorite matcha’s for at home<3
The Holy Land to the Drag Bars of NYC:
My first time really drinking alcohol was the summer of 8th grade, going into my first year of all-girls catholic high school. The summer was a blur fueled by an initially innocent craving for adventure. Where older siblings bought us vapes and handles of hard liquor to accompany the Arizona sweltering heat, this summer was starkly different from previous summers. Those previous summers consisted of sleepovers, trips to the mall, baking, and swimming with unicorn floaties. This new summer was fresh and exciting; there were boys and booze and no curfew. In Arizona, although beautiful, before you can drive, there truly is not much to do besides get into trouble. Now, as an older sister, I see the inherent flaws of a camelback childhood. What do you do when it's too hot to go outside and everyone thinks they are 13 going on 30 with daddy's Venmo account: you down a bottle of whispering Angel with your five closest children's friends, of course! DUH. By 16, we all knew multiple kids with coke problems and pending rehabilitation programs.
Of course, we all settled down, and those who were always going to be crazy were crazy, and those who were just “normal” kids who liked to fun were just that. But by this mathematical equation, by my senior year of high school, I was like a retired alcoholic minus the addiction.
When I first attended USC, I was genuinely confused when people were having their first blackouts and enamored by partying, going out every night because they couldn't or didn't in high school. Didn't everyone do that when they were 15? During the first semester of college, I still had fun, of course, but I just felt kind of weird for not dying to go out every night. Why was it not fun for me to stay out drinking a fucking warm four loko until 2 am. I have yoga and horseback riding in the morning. Of course, not everyone is like this. After going so hard when I was younger, I love my balance and hobbies. I learned a while ago that after three drinks, things likely aren't going to get MORE fun or entertaining. People do get a little better looking! But thats where mistakes are made haha; they are seldom as pretty in the morning.
Around November, even with a nice enough friend group, I felt exhausted and alone. Nobody can talk about anything interesting or amusing when you feel your legs go numb. Tears are streaming down your face in a dark room full of people. Frat parties are hot and, sweaty, and gross. God was nowhere. The blowout I just spent an hour on was ruined in 19 minutes as some drunken girl ended up dropping half of her white claw on my jeans. This is what I waited 18 years to go do? The best years of my life?
I wish there was just a hip bar full of young adults who liked r and b and house music that were all super attractive and not creepy; that weren't pretentious but were fun and judgment free and liked to talk to each other. Upon further reflection, this plan solely exists in my edible-induced dreams. This vision, unlike many others, is based on real-life, though. It is one of my subconscious’ favorites: a small 70's themed drag dance club I went to in New York. The vision is driven by a beautiful individual: a physical reincarnation of Freddy Mercury, who I assume was on all sorts of hallucinogens. He was dancing rhythmically to his own beat. It was fucking awesome. I was dancing and in awe of this enchanting 6'7 human with the body of an Olympic Runner and the soul of Prince. Then, I turn around, and I spot Emma Roberts and her male companion making their way to the bar. The group I was with, my friend from USC, who I traveled to Israel with (Alyssa), and some guys we met in the city on Hinge, disappointingly enough did, NOT watch American Horror Story or Wild Child. So I was alone in my sheer excitement, basking in the bizarreness of New York City. I felt okay with that, though, at peace in being secure enough to celebrate my excitement because my happiness was truly enough. I looked around at all the people I will never come to know, these random guys who took us here, dear Alyssa, and the drag queens.
I felt tears slowly streaming down my face, but these were different than the ones I knew before. I was surrounded by eclectic strangers in a dark room, but instead of feeling empty, I felt so unbelievably full. This trip to New York was right after going on Birth Right and traveling around Israel for a month after a pretty gnarly semester. I came into college confident, happy, and secure in myself. These character traits were not permanently changed but tested and temporarily rattled. I'm not an anthropologist, but human beings, by nature, are social and crave human acceptance and interaction. We want to be a part of the tribe, whether that's finding community in clubs, religions, greek life, work groups, or hobbies.
The summer AFTER the first year of college was different than all the ones before. Different than my summers in middle school, different than the one going into freshman year of high school, different than after graduating high school. This one was sent to me by God to save me, to put me back together again after the world tore me down until only my broken heart was left. New York was a continuation of this, the final note of healing and learning to be secure in myself and my needs once more. With the holy land being the first stop and the drag club being the final rendition: boy he has a funny way of getting us back home.
from a friend<3
After being sick for a number of years, it ebbed and flowed like the seasons. It did not inherently seem like a big deal, and I thought always worrying about how you looked was normal. After my breast reduction on October 5, 2020, I got to go under the knife and instantly get 20 pounds cut off of me. Things quickly spiraled. At 5'7, going from a size 6 to a 2 in three months was hard work, and genetically, from my father, I have never been one to half-ass anything. Becoming smaller and smaller became my new favorite hobby, quickly surpassing arts and crafts and music. I lost my period, my smile, and my personality while developing tics and a panic attack disorder. This went on for about two years. It was a bit more complicated than all of this, but as a family, we pretended I had "digestive issues." After never receiving help, and to be objectively fair, never wanting it, vaguely being threatened by my parents, only I was left to pick up the pieces and fix myself. My parents really tried to help in their own way, but eating and working out has always been a touchy subject in our house (between my grandma being a model, my dad an athlete, and my brother being in wrestling). But if your daughter is crying over some olive oil, Houston, I think we have a problem. Between my obsessive mind and COVID quarantines, isolating myself was not difficult; my hobby was given the perfect environment to thrive. In Arizona, everyone was still able to go out, so I would not go to school but go to parties and other things on the weekends. I was doing Scottsdale Unified District "homeschooling," which was a glorified joke. People were telling me how amazing I looked now that I was smaller, and I don't blame them; in a fucked up way, I think I thought I did too; I loved it.
I would have nightmares that I would forever be childless and alone. Not even because I didn't have my period anymore, I could not even imagine going on a date to a restaurant and being able to sit down and share a meal with someone without freaking out. I would pray to God that he would fix me. Stop my mind from calculating every piece of food I saw before me, adding up the condiments and calories. That or just let me die, because what is the purpose of my life if I can't have kids? I would cry and be afraid to go to sleep because I would have nightmares about being barren and alone, indirectly of my own doing. A liberating cycle of insomnia ensued. I will spare everyone the gnarly details, let's just say I was going crazy but at least I was a size 0! I felt hopeless and confused. It’s like I desperately loved the idea of change but I didn’t want to. The one thing that helped me at my rock bottom was when someone told me, "god did not put me on this earth to take up less space." I could not see what I looked like; I did not recognize myself anymore; my hair was just as dead as my weak body. The less space I took up, the better. I managed to keep my grades, do jiu-jitsu, and be on varsity tennis, but I was slowly dying; every thought was related to eating and caloric intake. I looked objectively horrible. I really was set on putting the chic in heroin chic, with none of the fun of doing actual drugs. Now, it was a lot more complicated than that, but accepting what was wrong was what took the longest, and I freed myself from the chains of being the smallest, worst version of myself. Only I could help myself, and no one else could.
Now i am not here to promote the body positive all women are gorgeous obesity propaganda. Because thats just not true. But to inspire anyone going through this right now with the hard truth... you do NOT look better right now. You look tired and exhausted and ugly, so stop being stupid. Also, definitely don't buy all of the cute clothes because you will have to throw them out inevitably, so now you're also wasting money; great job. I have been kind of nervous to share this story and have written multiple versions on this topic. Even though I am all better now, I have difficulty talking about it and do not tell people. It’s embarrassing. I wanted to write this and put it on here to hopefully help someone either going through this or someone close to someone who is. Personally, I put my best friend, Kate, through hell when she was the only person who cared enough to cry and yell at me when I was dwindling away. I was so blinded and wrapped up in my own shit that I resented her for it. I thought she was just jealous and being a bitch, and she didn't understand. Turns out she DID fucking understand. She understood very well what I was doing. Kate saved my life. What people with disordered eating fail to understand until they heal, physically and mentally, is you equally hurt the people around you because of your stupid Bullshit. It is so insanely selfish. PSA: you do not look better with an emaciated face, you will have no personality, and all your hair will fall out. I decided to heal myself after I accepted I would rather not be on this earth than not have children, and God didn't create me to be obsessive over a Nature Valley granola bar. It was not a lateral shoot up, and unlike a lot of people, I did not get sent away or do therapy or anything. I have always been one to solve my own problems. I was seeing the consequences of my choices on every level, and after two years healed, I continued to. I am so at peace with being strong and energetic and leaning on God, and being grateful my best friend saved me. Your entire life is not worth you taking up the least amount of space. I can now breathe, laugh, go out to eat, be active, and be happy. Reflecting back on where I was about two and a half years ago, I am far from the same person. You are not alone; I see you, I mourn with you, and I understand you. This is everything briefed up a and I cut a lot but whoever made it to the end of this, moral of the story is I am here to talk if you need a friend to confide in because sometimes the hardest people to open up to are the closest<3 Let go of the control. thank you
Reminders That Have Helped Me<3
These are little sayings and reminders I have tried to instill in my daily thought process and prayer routine. For a long time, I struggled to find a constant source of peace on my own, and these are just sayings that have really helped me! I was raised Jewish and grew up in Christian schooling, but around two years ago, I really started leaning on God (a higher power, buddha, or whatever you want to believe in: life is easier if you just pick something). I now try to put some of that heavy weight of stress and anxiety on him, and that has really benefited me. Although easier said than done, it all is in his power, and you need to focus on doing what is right and being the best genuine person you can be. Even if you aren’t religious, I believe these apply to everyone<3
God didn’t put you on this earth for you to take up less space.
Say what you want with a kind heart. If someone wants to not like you, they were going to find a reason regardless.
We make plans, and God laughs; he will find ways to surprise you because he knows what is best and you need to trust him.
If it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t.
You are not peoples perceptions of you, that is a projection of their own insecurities. You do not have to surround yourself with that energy.
New friendships are gifts, but it is okay to always proceed with caution. Love bombing is real, and in this age of instant gratification, people are quick to feel a false sense of safety.
Don’t close yourself off, but do be aware of who you confide in.
Make up your own mind about people and try not to participate in cancel culture or gossip.
People just want to feel loved and a sense of community so do not take everything so personally.
Products I Love for Acne and Eczema a Prone Skin:
Cleansers:
Dr. Sturm enzyme cleanser scrub
Dr. Sturm facial cleanser
Dr. Sturm Stinky Pimple Treatment
Moisturizer:
Eminence Moisturizer
Living Libations Seabuckthorn Best Skin Ever
Living Libations Rose Glow Serum
Acne Products:
Living Libations Grapefruit Stellar Renewal
Living Libations Zippity DewDab
Dermatologist Prescribed:
Winlevi (Clascoterone Cream 1%)
Hydroquinone 4% + Tretinoin 0.025%
Be Careful with these things and only follow Dermatologist recommended amounts! It is very powerful and can dry out your skin. Use with sunblock!
Healthy Recipes for a Busy Week:
Coconut Chia Seed Pudding:
Ingredients:
Chia seeds
Almond or coconut milk
Cinnamon
Honey (if desired)
Coco June coconut yogurt
Greek yogurt
Toppings: Bananas, strawberries, blueberries (whatever fruit you want), coconut flakes, cinnamon
Recipe:
For every 2 tablespoons of chia seeds, ½ cup of milk of your choice (I used coconut milk or almond milk)
To have for the week, I do six tablespoons of chia seeds for a cup and a half of milk
Shake together in a tightly closed mason jar
Open the jar, then add cinnamon and honey
Shake, let rest for five minutes, then shake again
Leave in the fridge overnight
In the morning, i take a couple of heavy spoon full of my chia seed mixture and combine it with Greek yogurt and coco june coconut yogurt
Top with bananas, raspberries, and blueberries
This is a delicious breakfast that I look forward to every morning. Benefits of chia seeds is it supports digestive health, reduces inflammation, and is high in fiber. Greek yogurt and Coco June is high in protein and probiotics which are the healthy bacteria that will help keep your gut in check. My total go to.
Easy Oven-Baked Salmon:
Ingredients:
4 oz cut of wild-caught Pacific salmon
Olive oil
Garlic clove
Salt
Pepper
Garlic powder
Paprika
Chili powder
Lemon
Recipe:
Go get a nice cut of salmon (my favorite grocery store in TX is Central Market)
Preheat your oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit
Lay out your salmon on parchment paper in an oven-safe baking dish
A light drizzle of olive oil and rub in
Season to preference with all of the spices and rub in
Chop up your garlic and spread on the salmon
Cut a lemon in half, single light squeeze of juice on the salmon then cut three thin slices of lemon to place on the salmon
Put in the oven for 20-23 minutes, until cooked throughout and lightly crispy on top.
Let sit for at least 5 minutes
Deliciousness! It goes excellent with tabouleh, kimchi, avocado, and a salad, and or grains for a healthy filling dinner
Salmon is a clean source of protein and an excellent source of omega-3 fatty acids which supports hair growth and health (making hair shiny and full). This is such an easy dinner to throw together during a busy week.
Japanese Sweet Potatoes:
Ingredients:
Two Japanese sweet potatoes
Olive oil
Roasted Garlic (sold at Central Market and Whole Foods)
Salt
Pepper
Paprika
Cinnamon
Garlic powder
Chili powder
Recipe:
Preheat your oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit
Wash your potatoes and pat dry
Cut your potatoes into medium sized cubes (or desired potato size)
Lay out your Japanese potatoes on parchment paper in an oven-safe baking dish
Drizzle with olive oil and mix until every piece is evenly covered
Season with your spices to your preference
Cut your garlic confit and place over the potatoes evenly
Mix your seasoned potatoes
Place in preheated oven and let cook for 20 minutes
After 20 minutes, open your oven and flip the potatoes
Cook for another 20-25 minutes, depending on desired crispiness
Let sit for 5 minutes, then enjoy!
Japanese sweet potatoes are high in essential vitamins and antioxidants while being a complex carbohydrate and low in calories. Japanese sweet potatoes are the healthiest potato and just so delicious. This recipe is super easy and a weekly staple for me. If you're craving fries and need some comforting potato love but are trying to cut down on unhealthy carbs, make these.
Seasons of Friendships
Growing up is bittersweet. People grow apart, and relationships end; the idea that some people are only meant to be a part of your life for a finite amount of time is a theme. They are there to teach you a lesson or help you. Not every relationship has to last forever to make it meaningful. You get close to someone and, without even realizing it, start collecting mannerisms and inside jokes like post office stamps. You begin ordering your coffee a different way and might say a couple of words differently, even if those people have faded away and are not a massive part of your life anymore. It is like a small reminder of your journey and an unconscious tribute to those who have helped shape who you are.
One of the most meaningful relationships I have formed in the past couple of years was with a wonderful girl I met last year toward the end of my time at USC. I was a shell of a human when she met me. In circumstances different from what would have been deemed normal, she still wanted to be my friend, still wanted to know me, and still loved me. For the last two months of school, we went on all these crazy adventures and would stay up until 6 am and spend all our time together; she convinced me to go on the birthright Israel trip. Without her, I would not have gone; she made me feel welcome and safe. I know she was sent into my life to save me, and that is precisely what she did. Without that life-changing trip, I would not have been able to transfer schools as confidently and open to new relationships as I did. I was scared, alone, and sad. I needed that time to detach and adequately mourn the life I envisioned for myself in California. I was emotionally scarred from my previous experience and needed God to pull me out of it; that is what Israel did. Although we are not as close as we were a couple of months ago, that does not dim the light she brought into my life.
We require different things to feel secure in our long-distance relationships, and I could not provide that from moving states. I would change nothing and have nothing in my heart but love for what she gave me. We cannot allow bitterness to ruin the things that were once good. I have heard the quote: let go and trust that the right people will stay. But I wholeheartedly disagree. Human relationships, let alone whole beings, are FAR too complicated to be able to dumb it down to a little mantra that belongs in a dated doctor's office. Some people are meant to be in our lives forever, which is a blessing and requires attention, care, and flexibility. But lives change, morals change, states change, and so do expectations.
I am writing this as a reminder because just because a friendship "ends" does not mean there has to be any bad blood or malintention; it ebbs and flows like the seasons. You must keep an open mind and heart to allow those lessons to come and go, holding on to no anger or resentment. You cannot control other people's needs or wishes; you can only respect them and allow those who fill your cup to stick around:) Collect your mannerisms and experiences, and every person is a blessing or a lesson in their own right. Be grateful that you got to experience their light, and just because the season changes, acknowledge it, but do not let that destroy the beautiful relationship that once existed. You're allowed to have nice things!
“The College Experience”
We work hard to get into these elite and fancy schools, filled with giant oak trees, convenient Starbucks', and grand libraries. We get in. So happy. Wow, we made it. We are in college! Woo Hoo! You make the big move, whether that is 17 hours away or 20 minutes. You settle in, sit in your moldy expensive dorm room for 30 minutes with this new random person you met through instagram in awkward silence, interrogative questions, and random giggles. Then you are like Fuck. I'm in college. Dude, where is my dog.
You open yourself up from the easy comfort of your high school friend circle that you essentially grew up with, to have to navigate a whole new set of personalities and relationship dynamics. College is marketed as this place filled with free-thinkers, new friends, and a place to grow and be yourself… I mean thats what we are paying 65,000 grand a year for right.
Crying to my mom on the phone, the third week of moving to Los Angeles, already having a quarter-life crisis about switching majors for the second time. Everyone seems to have it figured out.
"The first semester is supposed to be hard. It will get better. You do not need to have all of the answers right now. You can always come home honey.” - mom
Gayle talks me off the ledge yet again! The tuesday morning routine.
What my freshman year gave me was the ability to have a public panic attack lol. What do we do when we never feel relaxed in our living space, always feel censored, and have some cool enough friends… but are never completely secure in those relationships? I call these people anglers, and to answer your question, you go fucking crazy. Everyone just wants to be loved and feel a sense of community.
Fuck over your “best friend,” at least you have Kappa! You spread that rumour about that girl who lives two floors down. Use her life as a fun talking point during your casual lunch at Sweet Green! Fucking awesome! But make sure to post that pastel mental health awareness panel on your Instagram story; god, awareness is so important.
So, I wrote everything above when I was evidently really angry. I was bitter and sad. It was the spring of 2023. But as I reflect and re-read it today, almost a year later, all the things I felt still ring relevant and true to a certain degree. Having set expectations of the college experience is a universal standard that I believe we were sold through movies and old stories from our parent's "glory days." But, in reality, times are different, and the youth are different. The glorification of this time in our lives, early 20s, is harmful. I will never deny that if everything had worked out the way I envisioned, I am sure I would be totally happy where I was. But it didn’t; I had all this sadness and jealousy and nowhere to put it. I firmly believe that expectations and comparison are the thief of all joy, which is easy to say but extremely difficult to implement. Every season has ups and downs.
I would never change anything that has happened, and this year, after transferring schools, I have been able to meet some of the most wonderful, genuine people who have uplifted me and made me feel so loved. I hope someone reads this and feels less alone in their not-so-ideal college experience:) When everything falls apart, it’s actually falling together.
Bad Vibes Baby
Feeling uninspired and overwhelmed is a hard feeling to knock. It can absorb you and feel all-consuming. Firstly, this directly translates to what happens when you continue to surround yourself with people who diminish your aspirations. People that are constantly critiquing you under the guise of friendship. This is because they are likely insecure about their own accomplishments. I used to have really good friends who told me my ideas were stupid or that I would never get into a top school. Dude how wack!! Even if you love these people, what do you do to respond to this? It is essential to advocate for yourself and be conscious of the bad energy that you keep in your inner circle that affects your actions. It unconsciously hinders your creative outlets and makes you internalize doubts about your goals. The worst feeling in the world is when you feel you must present a certain version of yourself to fit in or always have to "keep up" with your friend circle. Or maybe they are just vanilla, and you crave more. You deserve more, and it's so hard to set boundaries with people who are pulling you down. There are so many beautiful humans in the world, and even though it's initially uncomfortable, you can put yourself out there to find a community of people who celebrate you. If you feel trapped by bad vibes in your personal life, ask that new cool girl out to lunch or coffee! Go to that random party. Worst that could happen is nothing.
We are strongly affected, either negatively or positively, by vibrational energy. This encompasses who we surround ourselves with (like I said above), what we eat (amount of GMOs and pesticides that we digest), how much sleep we get, and how much sunshine we are exposed to, which, regardless of circumstances, are things we can actively control. For example, ultraviolet rays from the sun can make a massive difference in brain function, mood improvement, and your endocrine system. If you're having a hard day and feel like you can't move out of bed or even help yourself, which is so real, start by making it your goal to go lay outside for ten minutes and let the sun hit your face. It is little consistent efforts you can put in place to help support your mind and body:) Also, vitamins are no joke. My mom used to beg me to stay on top of them, and I would laugh or roll my eyes. Alternatively, if you have ever been scarred by taking vitamins on an empty stomach, I get PTSD nausea flashbacks from being force-fed zinc monthly. But at this point with the world, we need all the help we can get. The list goes to magnesium, Iron, vitamin C, vitamin D, B12, and biotin. Anything we can do to increase the way our body can function and ease apprehension levels is a positive.
Personally, I struggle with texting anxiety and responding to people through texts and calls. Sometimes, I just go ghost mode for a week, or at least I used to: it's really bad, which makes me feel even worse; it is a fun, destructive tendency I do for myself. Yay. Anyone close to my life knows this. It is something I am actively trying to make a conscious effort to improve, and my lack of response is never personal; some people truly will never understand being overwhelmed with virtual communication.
But nonetheless! I am making small active efforts, whether it is giving myself a reserved 15 minutes a day that is just for responding to people; it is just what I can do right now, and that's good enough. If someone decides to treat me differently because I do not respond promptly enough, that is something out of my control. This personal example I feel we can apply to a variety of situations:) This all goes back to cultivating an environment where you feel love and support, regardless of whatever is going on, not having to question where you constantly stand. One day at a time, baby! All we can control is our outfit and our attitude, the rest in gods hands. Overcoming looming feelings of situational depression and lack of inspiration is extremely difficult, especially when it feels out of your immediate control. But making little goals for yourself, ranging from getting physically in the shower or sitting outside for a couple of minutes to getting on top of a vitamin routine or doing laundry, are things we can do for ourselves to help take control of our vibrations, because at the end of the day, that’s all we have! Let’s make the bad vibes our bitch<3
This year has been a time of significant changes in my life. I have had such a blessed upbringing and family; after last year, I genuinely thought that God had given me all my luck and I had run out. For some reason, THIS was the great equalizer, and I was out of his good graces that I was done. Although cliché, everything does happen for a reason, including the most seemingly horrible situations. Ones where you think everything is gone and turned to shit and your life is over. In reality, it hasn't, and it isn't. Half the time, it is just because we had our hearts fixated on an idea that something will play out exactly how we envisioned. We people make plans, and God laughs. Time will heal this fresh gaping wound that has disrupted your life, and eventually, something even more fulfilling and beautiful will grow in its place. If you had told me a year ago, at the beginning of my first year of college, that I would be transferring schools and moving to Texas, I would not have believed you. Dude, only weirdos transfer, and I will love it here.
Selective memory frequently kicks in. I wanted it to work so badly and was clinging onto this idea that I was meant to be there so desperately. I was trying to shove a triangle into a circle. Deviating from the original plan, even if it's a dumpster fire, is extremely scary, but you must be courageous. You must have faith. Girls are mean, people love to make up stories, and relationships you once prioritized over your mental happiness... big shocker, are better left behind. It is not a big deal! It's just a new adventure in your long storybook of life. It's not failure; it's re-route. The same goes for relationships; if they are not serving you, respectfully with all peace and love, let them DIE!! That lifestyle takes a toll on your mind and has an expiration date.
I also learned this year that words have physical consequences. Keep an open mind about people, and good things will come. Everyone just wants to be loved and respected. I held onto a lot of anger and sadness following last year. I didn't know where to put it. In return, God gifted me Israel, and within that came the strongest, most special friendships with people I love wholeheartedly. They saved me. The results of last year put me where I needed to be. I spent last semester fleeing LA; I write this happily, reflecting on the plane back to Dallas following a wonderful weekend visiting people who mean the world to me. Who would have thought! Secure in my new life in Dallas, secure in my strong relationships now in LA; peace fills my heart. Being able to reflect on the other side of last year, I now aim to consciously keep an open mind about change and am more aware of the unknown silver linings that life can throw our way. I wouldn't change a thing<3
I hope that anyone who reads this and who is going through a difficult time finds comfort in knowing that someone else understands with you. You are much stronger than you know :)
Change & the Gifts it Eventually Brings<3
Hair Growth Tips:
Foods to Focus on Consuming:
Essential fatty acids, rich in omega-3s, play a key role in the health of your skin, hair, and nails!
When I wasn't eating enough healthy fats… i lost so much hair and it was stringy. Your diet plays a major role and I know first hand. Since focusing on my diet, i see a major change in my hair!
Foods: salmon, tuna, avocados, greek yogurt, legumes, eggs, nuts
Hair masks: coconut oil and three drops of rose hip oil
Supplements:
Viviscal: a natural hair growth supplement which aids in overall volume and thickness
Omega-3 fish oil pills
To Do:
Massage your scalp with coconut oil with your head off of the edge of your bed. This stimulates hair growth by getting the blood to flow to the hair focules on your scalp.
DO NOT WASH HAIR EVERYDAY!
Train hair to go unwashed for as long as possible. I can usually get 5 days with working out too.
Natural hair mask:
make the mask, whisk the egg to a frothy liquid, stir in the coconut oil, and add the finely mixed avocado. When combined, apply the mask to towel dry hair from roots to ends. Cover with a plastic cap and let the mask sit for 10 to 20 minutes.
This mask help with hair softness and strength
Avoid bleaching your hair and excessive heat tools as much as possible
Homeopathic Ways of Minimising overstimulation and Anxiety:
Vitamin D, Vitamin C, Calcium, Magnesium, and Zinc
Although annoying, try to stay on top of your vitamin routine; it can’t hurt you!
Grounding tool to keep in your bag: Madison Green At your desk, Inhale be well inhale aromatherapy (I bring this everywhere with me and it really helps when feeling overstimulated or controlling tics)
Bach: rescue pastilles, homeopathic natural stress relief (cranberry and black currant are the two best flavors!)
Ignatia Amara: This is a a low dose homeopathic medicine that relieves symptoms caused by stress or emotions, with hypersensitivity to light, noises, pain and emotions.
Sensory grounding with ice or cold water to help gain back control of your body during an anxiety attack to shock the overworking system
Ice pack on the center of your chest, behind your neck, or wrist (any pulse point)
